20 Witty Replies to Rude People

What are your favorite witty replies to rude people? Instead of letting someone get to you, have a witty comeback ready for their insults. Humor will help ease the tension and show them you are in control. Here are 20 best witty replies from Reddit users and around the web.

  1. 1

    "Are you having a bad day?" /Ruig

    Source: shopify.com

    Tends to confuse the hell out of people and calls them on their crap.

  2. 2


    Just a simple "ok." will piss them off and save you from having to waste time talking to rude people. There is nothing more frustrating than being walled with absolute indifference.

  3. 3

    "Sorry, I don't speak English" /joe_archer

    Source: www.mthai.com

    You need to say it in a dismissive way.

  4. 4

    "That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard. " (Then laugh.)

    Source: twimg.com
  5. 5

    "Sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you say it again?" /Trinibeanbird

    Source: squarespace.com
  6. 6

    "I believe you" /jethroboom

    Would leave them speechless.

  7. 7

    "I don't care what everyone else says. I don't think you're that bad." /MyFriendsCallMeSir

    Source: neatorama.com

    Passive aggressive, spiteful and does not even implicate you.

  8. 8

    "I was just wondering if you were as nice as you are pretty" /whatsupwith47

    Source: tumblr.com
  9. 9

    "You don’t really expect me to answer that, do you?"

    Source: nocookie.net
  10. 10

    "Excuse me, but did you actually just say…"

    Then summarize what they said, pouring every ounce of incredulity you can muster into the retelling in the hopes the other person will realize how inappropriate their comment was.

  11. 11

    "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are." /thinkoutsidethemind

    Really gets them thinking....

  12. 12

    "I would explain it to you, but I don't have the time or the crayons." /second_to_fun

    Source: redbubble.net
  13. 13

    "I see what you're saying, but if I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong." /dannyr

    Source: i.kinja-img.com
  14. 14

    "No, thank you" /trekbette

    Source: allthingsd.com

    It sure would confuse whoever is bugging you..

  15. 15

    "Whatever you say."

    Source: picr.de
  16. 16

    "I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion. "

  17. 17

    "Well, I think we’ve reached the end of this conversation."

  18. 18

    "Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day. "

    Source: theatlantic.com
  19. 19

    "You’re kidding, right? Hold on. You are kidding, right?"

  20. 20

    "I understand you feel that way. Thank you for letting me know."

    Don't break eye contact, because then it is all over.

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